Better Left Forgotten
by TheDancingNinja
Summary: When Vlamira Striker comes face to face with a mate she never expected to have the battle of wills begin. Unused to love and affection, Vlamira is adamant in her decision to escape the hand fate has dealt her. Escaping proves difficult when her mate is the one person who sees her for who she really is. Damaged.
1. The Forest of Life and Death

When they found me all those years ago, they said that my eyes were dull. Lifeless and empty like the eyes of someone who had lost everything. My clothes were nearly singed away, my hair and face darkened by the soot and blood of my people, and my eyes staring vacantly into an endless nightmare that refused to dissipate.

The wolves who found me snarled and gnashed their teeth at my face, but all I could hear were those screams echoing in my head. All I could see was the blood and the fire that painted the ground. When I was asked what I was, where I had come from, and where my family was I told them all I had forgotten.

Weary of me even after it was made obvious that I was no threat, the FireTree pack unanimously agreed that sending a child back into the clutches of the forest I had crawled out of would be cruel. Yet I was strange. I wasn't human they could tell, but I wasn't something they knew. Because I wasn't them and because they knew not of what I was capable of it was also agreed that I would only be permitted to stay within the confines of their pack for four summers. So it was the year I turned eighteen that I was thrown out of FireTree pack and into the forest of life and death where they all expected me to die. I had defied these expectations before though and I would defy them again. They sent me away not knowing anything about the devastations I had caused before I entered their pack. They were wolves but I was death and the bitter cold taste of defeat would not touch me.

"Don't look at her." A worried voice chided as my bare feet traced paths in front of their homes. The little boy she shuffled away kept throwing glances over his shoulder at the girl everyone agreed was being sentenced to death.

"She was always such an odd one." Another voice whispered turning away when my mismatched eyes cut through the frost in the air and into the superstitious gaze of the one who whispered it.

The air was filled with the tension and solemnness that only the promise of death was capable of bringing. The intense heated stares of the villagers burned into my back like hot molten lava. Looming before me were two wooden gates arising from the snow like two vengeful gods prepared to swallow me up whole and into the very depths of the hell they had crawled out of. The two burly men stood nervously next to the gates prepared to open it at the Alpha's command. I stared them down and dared them to open it before it was yet dawn.

"My fellow pack members!" a rough voice boomed catching the attention of those around me. My eyes remained rooted to the wooden doors that sealed my fate.

"Four years ago on this day, we allowed a foreigner into the confines of this humble community. Against our better judgment we have allowed this strange…" At this, Alpha Carter paused, his thin lips curling in a sneer as if what he had to say left a bad taste in his mouth. " _creature_ residence in our pack until she has come of age. Well, I am here to say that today is the day that child becomes a woman. Today is the day we send her back to where it is she has come from. Vlamira Striker, I hereby announce your citizenship of FireTree pack annulled and command you to leave the boundaries of my pack. Is there anything you would like to say?"

Straightening my shoulders I said the only thing that my restless mind could conjure, "Yes, I would very much like the twenty minutes of my life you just wasted with that terribly boring speech."

I was probably the only one who had ever disrespected or stood up to Alpha Carter. (no wonder he wanted me gone) It was written all over him and showed in the way those thunder clouds of fury danced across his face.

The power that rolled off of him like the furious winds of a typhoon swayed all of those around me but I held my ground. His power did not touch me. I was not werewolf and my kind was not the type to be moved by displays of raw power.

"Open the gates." He forced out and the two wolves standing next to the gates of hell eagerly complied. I watched in fascination as those large gates groaned and creaked revealing the deadly forest that lay beyond. Most of the wolves shrunk away, the women shielding their children from the view of the death sentence the Rogue Forest represented. Some of the braver ones sneered in triumph as if fear was something that was shameful.

While I understood the importance of fear, how fear kept us alert and alive, I had lost my fear of death a long time ago. Death and I played a dangerous game together. I cursed it and dared it and death in return seemed to laugh, reach, and miss me in a daring game of cat and mouse. I did not show my fear to these eager foolish wolves because my fear had been ripped out of me, buried somewhere with the last of my kind. It was just me and that gaping empty hole it left behind now. Me and the forest of Life and Death before me. Taking a deep breath I took one step forward and then another. The gates closed behind me and the silence settled around me in a heavy cloak as if trying to smother the hope that lied in my breast. That foolish silence knew nothing. It was not death that made me shake in despair or quiver in terror. Death and I were well acquainted. It was life that made me fear.


	2. A Stray Cat's Scorn

~two years later~

*LUCIAN*

Their scent drifted towards me an intoxicating array of filth and blood with the slightest tinge of madness. All was silent in the woods as if the snow blanketing the trees and earth was smothering the very voice of the forest. The only noise my sensitive ears could discern was the rustling of the ice encrusted branches above me and the distant echoes of the pack of rogues my pack and I were tracking. Their roars and angry cries filled the frozen air around me in a wild crescendo of rage and I had no doubt that this pack of rogues had found something very entertaining to prey on.

The smell of blood that tainted the air made the beast within me to roar and beg for release but I held him back forcing him to remain locked within the safe confines of my human skin. He was pure muscle, rage, and instinct, but I was a leader made of clarity, wits, and steel. I was the very calm before the storm and if these rogues would not be reasoned with then I would let the waves of my fury consume them.

Bloodied snow crunched beneath my shoes and my breath fogged the morning air around me as I peered out into the clearing before me. I was seconds away from stepping into the fray and engaging in the wild blood bath when I saw her.

She fought them off with such animalistic grace it almost seemed like she was dancing. She was a whirlwind of silver, white, and red and it was almost as if I were watching some otherworldly creature. Her silver white hair flashed around her like an angry sea of powdered snow, her movements fluid and agile like liquid silver. I was captivated by this enthralling otherworldly being and her riveting blood dance. The wolves that were lunging at her with their claws outstretched and their teeth lashing out for the taste of blood and the tear of fabric were met with her adamant fury and I watched this beautiful angry goddess exact her vengeance.

Deciding it was time to intervene I nodded at my team of trackers who eagerly stepped into the clearing. Immediately, the pack of rogues paused and sniffed the air sensing our presence. Catching my scent, they quivered and darted away back into the forest.

"Follow them." I said quietly to the wolves around me. David, my second in command took a step forward. "Are we taking prisoners your majesty?" My piercing silver grey eyes cut into his blue ones like steel tears into flesh. "No. This one is all yours Beta." With that I turned my back from the eager blood thirsty look that crossed David's face and stepped into the clearing where the beautiful warrior of silver and blood was still standing, frozen in place.

I approached her a little cautiously, unsure of how she would react to my presence. As I drew closer I could see more details of her face and that angry surly expression she wore. Her lips were pulled back in a near snarl and her wild unruly hair had leaves and twigs jutting out ensnared in the many tangles of her silvery mane. Her skin was pale porcelain, combined with her platinum blonde hair gave her an eerie ethereal glow that seemed, otherworldly. It was her eyes that fascinated me though. Those piercing striking and unusual eyes. One stared accusingly at me a deep puddle of ocean blue, the other a haunting forest green. She was beautiful. And she was mine. My mate. My goddess. My warrior wild princess.

I waited patiently for her to realize it, to show surprise or awe and recognize me for what I was. Her mate. But she was an intriguing one for she did not falter and continued to glare at me with those bewitching eyes as if daring me to try and touch her. That's when I realized it, this beautiful creature was not the same type of creature as I was. She was not descended of the wolf nor was she human. She wasn't anything I knew or understood. She did not recognize the bond that bridged us together for she _could_ not. She would learn to though, I reasoned, there have been cases of werewolves of having human mates before who over time learned to listen to the voices of the soul that whispered to them of that sacred bond. It could be done and it _would_ be done. I would have her. This intriguing beauty was mine and I would not leave without her.

"Do you not realize it love?" I called out tentatively. She scowled in response and I took another step forward. "We are mates." I said lowly. It was then that the surprise flitted across her beautiful face and she took a step back. She stumbled over something buried in the snow and fell backwards so that she was staring with a startled gaze back up at me as I approached her. That gaze on her face said it all. It seemed to say that she had stared death in the face and had somehow found it lacking. That haughty defiant stare that was both furious and devestatingly sad all at the same time. Sticking out my hand I waited for her to take it, to accept me and the undeniable bond that bridged us together. That angry stare of hers faltered again in her uncertainty but then her armor snapped back into place again and she slapped my hand away. I watched with a mixture of sadness and adoration as my warrior goddess lifted herself off the ground without taking my offered hand and scrambled up the closest tree from which she watched me apprehensively from atop a sturdy branch.

"I'm not going to hurt you so you can come down now." I said. Those expressive eyes wavered a bit giving me a glimpse of the vulnerable girl within but then they steeled again and I could feel my frustration growing.

"Who are you?" She called down at me and my heart nearly froze in my chest. Such a small uncertain voice. Beautiful in all of its fragileness. She was confusing that was for sure. One minute she was fierce and angry like a vengeful goddess and the next she was vulnerable and uncertain like a small child. I wanted this beautiful, enchanting and complex creature and I didn't care if I had to rip that damned tree out of the ground just to get to her.

"My name is Lucian. Won't you come down now darling?" I said flashing her my most charming smile I knew most ladies found hard to resist. She scowled at my smile and a light chuckle reverberated through my chest. I loved the honesty in her expressions.

"I would but there's a hairy werewolf blocking my exit." She said scrunching up her adorable little button nose at me and keeping that surly expression on her face.

My little warrior had attitude. "Tell me your name and I might consider not tearing down that tree you're so conveniently perched in, in my wild fit of animalistic rage." I challenged.

"You're bluffing. I don't care how high and mighty you are, arrogance and ego can't cut down trees." She said with a little satisfied smirk on her face.

"No but a pack of determined werewolves and a chainsaw will." I said and I allowed my eyes to glimmer a vibrant silver indicating that my inner beast was lashing out at his prison pressing just below the surface of my being. The stubborn set of her jaw and the heat of her gaze told me that she was too proud to flinch or shy away from the raw power I allowed her to glimpse. "One word from me in my pack link and I could have enough man power and chainsaws here to cut down the whole forest." I urged sensing her doubt.

"I thought you were werewolves not lumber jacks." She said and the right corner of her mouth ever so slightly tilted upwards as if her lips were unused to forming a smile.

"Well if you don't want to tell me your name I guess I'll just call you mate for the rest of my life. Or maybe just call you mine." I said smirking up at my little goddess. It was the word 'mine' that sealed the deal by the way that lopsided almost half smile vanished and an angry scowl quickly took its place.

"I don't belong to anyone. Not to any dumb werewolf pack and most certainly not to a smelly old annoying lumberjack who can't take a hint." She spat defiantly turning so that she was literally giving me the cold shoulder. I laughed out loud at such candid behavior. She was so intriguing. Like a stray cat that had been left out in the rain. She sulked around and seemed to ask for love but scorned and looked down on those who offered it to her.

"Then give me a name and I won't have to refer to you with such possessive pronouns." I reasoned. I was curious as to if her name would be just as exotic and fierce as my little warrior princess. She chewed on her lips considering my words before finally rewarding me with an answer.

"Vlamira." She said quietly. If I were human I would have missed it. Fortunately, I caught every beautiful syllable.

"Vlamira, please come down, you know I would never hurt you. You also know that there is nowhere for you to run and you'll have to come down eventually." I tried not wanting to resort to drastic measures. I refused to wait her out of that damned tree, if she wouldn't climb down before nightfall then I'd make true on my promise and I'd have every pack member cutting down that blasted piece of timber.

I heard a quiet sigh and just as quickly as she had climbed it, she was down again standing before me in all of her stubborn beauty. I was surprised to discover just how small she was, the top of her head barely reached my chest. She had a large presence that had the potential to make her seem larger than life and at other times I was learning, also smaller than life as well.

Her eyes shifted away from my loving stare unsettled by their intensity. Seizing my chance I rushed forward scooping her up in a tight embrace. She struggled at first, her small hands pushing against my chest in her desperate attempts to free herself but then she relaxed and allowed me to hold her. I could sense my team of trackers breaking free from the treeline, finished with their task at last and I gave a sigh of relief. My arms remained locked around my mate's waist in a protective hold, protecting her from the curious heated stares of my pack and preventing her from scurrying up the tree again. Inhaling her enticing scent of cool water and juniper berries I then whispered to her. "Let's go home love."


	3. Frozen Teardrops of the Angels

*Vlamira*

Lucian was hard to figure out. He was puzzling in the most mysterious and invigorating kind of way that made me want to stick around and figure out where exactly he fit into place. He was like a whirlwind of shadows and silver. One minute he was laughing at my angry scowl and the next he was staring into my eyes with such tenderness it made all of the anger and bitterness within me to falter. He wasn't like the others who flaunted their strength and took pride in their arrogance, he instead managed it with a quiet calm that was both fierce and untamable. He fascinated me this beautiful man. His windswept midnight black hair fell gently over his sun kissed brow and his silver colored eyes seemed to have the unnerving ability to pick apart my soul and pierce through the armor I placed around myself seeing instead the sad broken girl within.

I'm not sure why I followed him when he voiced his acceptance of me. I refused his offered hand but I began to follow the indentions his feet had made in the snow that would lead me back to where he lived. Maybe it was because I was so tired of being alone and fighting every day and the idea of finding a place that I belonged to was appealing. The Words Lucian spoke rang with the truth, he did not lie when he told me I was his mate. Even if that word meant he had accepted me I knew that those who surrounded him would not. I was on my own and I always would be, mate or not. Still, my feet continued to follow him refusing to let go of that stubborn hope that I might have another chance at life.

The wolves that accompanied Lucian pressed in all around me as if protecting me from the ice encrusted forest. Normally, I was the type to hunt for answers on my own, I'd be loath to ask for answers from some werewolves, but I didn't think I had the patience to wait around for it so I filled the silence with my question. "Why am I being treated like royalty?" I asked annoyed at both myself for having to ask and at the wolves for crowding my space.

The wolf to my left looked over at me, his brown eyes the color of bark. "Because you are royalty now Luna. You are King Lucians mate. Lucian is alpha of Forticry Pack, the most powerful werewolf pack in North America. That makes you queen." He said awe lacing his voice as he stared into my somber gaze. I had had my fair share of kings, I had seen firsthand how power and greed drove a person mad.

"You don't look impressed Luna, are you intimidated by wielding that much power?" He asked a smirk crossing his face gloating as if he had caught me in my fear.

"Yes." I said keeping my tone cold and clipped. "Power is the god's ultimate damnation. It drives those who wield it mad." Lucian who was a few paces in front of me glanced over his shoulder, a curious look crossing his face.

"What makes you say that?" he asked his silver grey eyes digging deep into mine seeming to look for an answer to another question he had not yet asked.

I shrugged and looked away, shying away from the intensity of his stare.

It was David, the large burly man that was Lucians second in command that broke the silence. "You aren't human nor are you werewolf. What exactly are you Luna?" I could tell by the hesitatingly way he spoke and the way the words reached out for me tentatively in the frozen air that this bulky man with the serious countenance had tried his best to word the question as politely as he could. I almost felt bad for lying to him and the eager wolves of those around him that pricked their ears towards our conversation. Lucian appeared the most interested.

"I don't know. I don't remember." I said. The lie rolled off my tongue as smooth as marbles. The answers they sought lie buried somewhere out there with the girl I once was. The time before was gone and I would not curse the present or condemn the future with the vile poison of the past.

The other wolves must have sensed the lie but heard something in my tone that made them bite back any further questions they had for me. Something told me they would not have been so lenient if I were not Lucian's mate. Oblivious to my discomfort, the young wolf with eyes the color of bark continued his questions.

"How do you not remember something like that? Wouldn't it be instinct? Where are you from then?"

"I don't remember." I said again. I was a machine now repeating the only thing I had programed myself to say. I was seconds away from shutting down completely. Lucian must have sensed this because he sent brown eyes a look so cold it had the young wolf backing away and switching places with David.

"We are almost there love." Lucian whispered reaching for my hand and placing a feather light kiss on my knuckles as we moved through the trees of the forest. I scowled at him and pulled my hand away making a show of wiping it on my breeches. He laughed and I was taken aback by how the clear sound of his laugh made my stomach flutter. His laughter was such an honest sound it made me want to hear it again. Scowling at the thought I strode ahead of him making my way out of the tree line and into a small clearing with a brook. Water gurgled over a slew of river stones and the wolves around me silently padded across the blanket of rocks.

I was about to do the same when a strong calloused hand lightly gripped my arm turning me to face Lucian who wore a gentle expression as he held something out to me. "For you my love." He said and I hesitantly reached out to grab what he was holding. It was a river stone. I was surrounded by thousands of river stones but the river stone Lucian offered to me however was different from the rest. Water erosion had carved it into a perfect heart and Lucian stood there with a small gentle light in his eyes as he waited for me to accept it. At the edges of my mind a memory flickered. I tried to force it away but it came back with a vengeance causing my eyes to fill up with tears.

* _"Look! I found something! It has a perfect hole in it! How did that happen Aneihla?" She stared back at me indignantly, her eyes peering down at me two different shades of livid brown and purple. Heterochromia they called it. It was a trait my kind all shared. "The water did that stupid." I beamed at her. My sister always knew all of the answers._ *

"It's just a stupid rock." I said furious at myself for remembering. Taking the river stone from his hand, I turned and threw it as hard as I could across the river. There were multiple growls as the members of his pack watched me practically spit on Lucian's small act of kindness to me. Screw them. I didn't need kindness and I definitely didn't need a stupid piece of rock. I avoided looking into Lucian's eyes afraid of the hurt I'd see there. I heard a small sigh and was surprised when he reached out and gently grabbed my hand tugging me back into the direction of his home. He was quiet and I was lost somewhere else drowning in memories better left forgotten. 

Most werewolf packs look like tiny villages. Lucian's pack looked like an entire city. While every individual house looked like a brick mansion, Lucian's house was a castle. It spiraled into the sky with more rooms then I'm sure he knew what to do with and more doors and windows then I could count. There was something about it though that was both lonely and despairingly sad. I'm not sure how a house or castle could seem so broken but that is what the brick in its walls whispered to me.

"What do you think?" Brown eyes asked deciding it was safe again to ask questions. Forgetting myself I said quietly, "I think it feels sad." The young wolf looked down at me with a confused expression on his face. Lucian on the other hand seemed to take what I had unknowingly spouted into deep consideration, a strange look entering his eyes. A look I often recognized in myself when I was forcing down memories I never wanted to remember again. His eyes were haunted. Haunted like mine from the ghosts of a past known only to ourselves. I stared at him and his eyes snapped back to mine. When he caught me looking at him his mouth lifted upwards in a smile. I scowled in response and crossed my arms looking away.

"Your majesty, you must be exhausted from your rounds, allow me to escort Lady Vlamira to her rooms." One of the werewolves accompanying us said. In the second it took Lucian to tear his eyes away from mine, all the gentleness and tenderness he had displayed towards me slipped off his face replaced instead with something much darker. The air around us became thick and heavy as if it were trying to choke us with its putrid malice. I shivered at the raw dark fury that rolled off of Lucian in waves. The wolves around us retreated within themselves as fear glinted in their eyes almost entirely overpowered for their need for self-preservation. That was when I realized that the magic that flowed in Lucian's veins was strong. Stronger than I expected. Lucian was a force to be reckoned with for any species and for the first time, I wondered if I had really made the right decision in following Lucian back to his home.

"Jace, who is Vlamira's mate?" He said quietly and I swallowed suddenly feeling like the question asked was laced with a deadly poison that meant certain death if answered incorrectly. The men near Jace suddenly backed away giving him a wide berth as if unwilling to share the same space as someone who had unknowingly stepped on a landmine and invoked the wrath of their king.

"ah y-yo-you a-are S-sir" He stuttered taking a step back at the cold silver that covered the warm grey in Lucian's eyes.

"That's right. I am." He said lowering his voice as he stepped closer to the cowering Jace. Snowflakes gathered in Lucian's midnight black hair as he leaned in closer to whisper words drenched in so much malice it chilled me to the spot. Gone was the soft Lucian. Gone was the gentle, sweet, and kind Lucian she had seen replaced by this powerful man with his silent, cold, fury. "The next time you insinuate when I can and cannot see my mate, I'll be sure to castrate you so that you'll never find yours." Satisfied that he had made his point, Lucian turned and left him there quivering and trembling in the snow. I watched as Lucian made his way back to my side and tried not to flinch when he grabbed my hand watching instead the silent white teardrops of the angels that fell from the sky and swirled all around us.

***********************************************************************

I glared accusingly at Lucian who smiled smugly at me from the large bed in the middle of the room. He patted the spot next to him and waited patiently for me to go to him. Curling my lips in distaste at this man who was trying to tell me where to sleep I turned my back to him and locked myself in the bathroom. "Open this door and I'll castrate YOU." I angrily said throwing the threat he'd used on Jace right back at his face. Infuriatingly enough, I heard a quiet chuckle fill the silence on the other side of the door and even though he couldn't see it, I aimed a furious scowl in his general direction.

That night, when my eyes slowly began to close I could swear I heard someone whisper in my ear, "Goodnight my little warrior." And place a gentle kiss on my forehead. The next morning the only indication I had of anyone ever being there was a blanket wrapped snuggly around me and a heart shaped river stone placed next to my pillow.


	4. A Leap of Faith

*vlamira* 

**~Then~**

They took the city when I was five and my sister nine. They descended from the heavens turning the sky black with the burning ash of our homes and the waters red with the blood of my people. My mother hid us beneath the floor boards. I remember the desperate fear that glinted in her eyes and the way her urgent voice seemed to be weeping when she told us not to come out for anything, no matter what we might hear. When she turned to leave my small hands grabbed her skirts begging her to stay with us but she pried my fingers away and told us, "I'll come back for you." We never saw her again.

Together my sister and I had crouched in the darkness, until the screams from the outside world finally stopped and all that remained was our fearful shallow breaths and the heavy silence that pressed in above us. I don't know how long we stayed like that. It might have been hours or maybe even days. In that dank dark hole time did not exist. It was just us and the silence. In the end it wasn't our mother who came back for us, it was a stranger. When he opened the door that entrapped us in our endless time loop of despair, it was as if he were opening the very door to the sky. When he roughly grabbed us and drug us screaming and crying up the stairs I realized that it wasn't the doorway to heaven he had opened, it was the very entrance of hell. The hell my sister and I would endure for many more years to come.

 **~Now~**

It wasn't until the next morning that I finally came to my senses. Following Lucian back was a mistake and when the opportunity arose, I would take my chances and run. When Lucian had told me I was his mate, I was taken by surprise. It was only now that I was beginning to grasp the entire weight of what he spoke. Lucian was a king. A werewolf king at that and I knew that once he had recognized me as his mate and spoke his acceptance of me, then he would never let me go. I would be stuck in a world of kings, blood and control for as long as I lived. I wanted out before the soul mate bond spoke to him any louder. From the time I spent in FireTree pack, I knew that werewolf love was intense to the point of overwhelming. He would want to control everything that is me and understand all of who I am. His love would make him crush my legs so that I couldn't run away and smother my senses so that all I could see, hear, and smell was him.

Even though I knew he would not harm me, I did not want to be suffocated by his possessiveness or be controlled by an entire kingdoms set of laws I would be expected to follow. I promised myself I would never allow my life to be in someone else's hands. I would not live in fear again.

The room I stepped out into was empty, the bed neatly made and a fire already blazing in the fire place. I quickly scanned my surroundings immediately suspicious. When I confirmed that I was indeed alone, I began a closer inspection of the room I was in.

It was not without its luxuries but its furnishings were tactfully done, the decorations beautiful but not overwhelmingly extravagant. Ignoring the beautifully woven tapestries hanging from the walls and the intricate fragile vases that adorned the fire place mantle, I wrapped my fingers experimentally around a large golden candle stick holder and tested the weight of the object. It was heavy in my grasp and I practiced swinging it a couple of times. Deciding it was good enough, I tucked it in my pants and made my way to the door.

Leaning forward I pressed my ear against the smooth mahogany wood and listened carefully to the outside world. My delicate hearing picked up a couple of noises further down the hall and I concentrated harder until their words were clear.

"…..heard she had hair the color of silver." A hurried voice whispered. "That's what you heard? I heard she's a witch! They say that if you look into her eyes, she can turn you into stone." Another voice answered and the other woman gasped as if the news was so shocking she had lost the air in her lungs.

Tentatively, I urged the door open and peered into the hallway. The two voices I had heard were further down the hall and I took the hallway that branched away from their frantic whispers. The walls around me were lined with paintings of stern faced men and women I assumed were past kings and queens. Other than their leering stares, the hallways were quiet. Empty of everything but of the sadness the walls kept whispering to me.

At the end of the hall, I paused again listening for the people of the castle. I knew I would soon come across others and I wanted to be aware of them long before they became aware of me. Holding my breath I concentrated again to the sounds around me and allowed the wind to send me its quiet murmurings. Footsteps and carefree laughter danced along the air currents in broken fragments telling me that werewolves were drawing closer to where I crouched.

Slipping the golden candle stick holder from its hiding place, I gripped it with steady hands and waited for the inevitable. The voices soon drifted apart telling me that the two had split up. I listened carefully to the set of footsteps that approached my hiding spot. I pressed myself up against the wall, my heart pounding in my chest as my fingers tightened around my weapon. I stood as still as the wood against my back, molding myself into the background.

It was a rather large man that stepped around the corner. He seemed to be in a good mood and even whistled a little while he walked. Those breathy whistles masked the sound of my feet as I made my sudden assault. I leapt at him with the quickness of a hummingbird and swung the candle stick at the back of his unsuspecting head. He fell to the floor and I almost missed the quiet groan that rolled from his lips as he quickly fell unconscious.

Not wasting any time I quickly used his clothes to tie his hands and feet together, ripping a strip of clothe away to shove in his mouth. When I was done, I very painfully dragged him into the closest room where he would stay locked away in the closet for some poor maid to uncover. Gathering my lost breath from the physical exertion, I then preceded with my escape plan which I regret to say, was not in the least bit planned.

I was able to avoid any further unfortunate encounters, but the exit from this complex castle eluded me. When I followed Lucian to his room the previous day, it was dark and I had lost count of the endless twists and turns we took too focused on the feel of Lucian's rough hands in mine. I chided myself for my carelessness now. Cursing under my breath at both my stupidity and my lack of patience, I began opening random doors to rooms I knew to be vacant from the still silence within them. If I couldn't find the entrance, I would just make my own.

It was the third door that did the trick. Most rooms contained windows that were too small to crawl through even for me, but the third door I tried was filled with books. I was very much pleased to find that the room was also flooded with sunlight that was found to be streaming through beautifully large windows. Looking through their murky glass panes, I discovered just how far from the ground I was. I was at least three floors up, too far up to even hope of jumping down. I sighed from disappointment and almost turned away. Luckily, the wind outside forced the branches of the tree to wave wildly in the breeze catching my attention.

The tree that lay planted in front of the last library window was a large oak with towering branches that reached for the heavens. My eager fingers desperately searched for a latch on the windows and I sighed in relief when they found one. Pushing the window pane up I stepped on the window ledge and carefully estimated the distance between the oak and the window I was perched in. It would be a risky jump, but it was doable. I crawled out on my hands and knees to the tiny ledge that extended a little past the open window. Steadying myself by grabbing on to the two sides of the window, I slowly pulled myself up into a standing position and stared intently at those swaying branches. Gathering up my courage, I sucked in a deep breath and then flung myself into the air.

The first branch hit my chest and nearly knocked the breath out of me. My arms shot out desperately attempting to grab something, anything to stop me from falling. I fell past several branches as others painfully smacked into me and scratched my flesh. Finally, with what seemed like forever, my arms locked around a branch and completely stopped my free fall. I groaned and then used my stomach and arm muscles to hoist the rest of me onto the branch. I had a few bruises and even more scrapes and cuts, but otherwise, I was fine. I hadn't broken anything and I once again wondered how much luck a person was capable of having. I had surely just ran out.

Resting only until I had caught my breath I then carefully climbed the rest of the way down the tree. When my feet finally touched the ground I began dodging around the trees eagerly headed towards the next step of my new rather rash plan. From my resting place in the tree I had crash landed in, I had spotted a large barn in the distance. The breeze had carried to me the many sounds of animals from it including a means to get away. Horses. I wasn't sure if a horse could outrun a werewolf but I was eager to try. 

*Lucian*

I used to enjoy my rounds around the pack boundaries and how the fresh air always seemed to clear my mind. Now all it made me was annoyed. I had other places I wanted to be. I wanted to be under that beautiful haughty gaze of hers and I wanted her lovely grace to be within reaching distance. The farther my feet carried me away from her, the more frustrated I became.

My pace picked up on my last border sweep, my mood already lifting at the thought of having her close again soon. To my surprise, my path crossed with a couple of guards I had stationed near Vlamira's rooms. They looked haggard and breathless and their rugged appearance had my blood sizzling in anticipation.

"What are you two doing here? I commanded you to guard Vlamira." I stated staring them down. Their eyes darted around frantically as they flinched away from the steel in my voice before the smaller one finally forced out, "Ah…that…uh…shes uh….shes."

"Shes gone." The other guard interrupted and suddenly the chains holding the beast under my skin snapped. I wasn't thinking when my hands shot out to the closest person next to me wrapping around his throat and slamming him against the nearest tree. He gasped and coughed as my fingers tightened around his throat slowly crushing his windpipe as his feet thrashed wildly in the air. I couldn't see past the silver that coated my eyes, the blood lust that consumed my vision.

His life was spared by the quick actions of my subordinates who pulled me away from the thrashing werewolf. I was seconds away from tearing out of their grasps and going for him again when her scent filled my nose. I'm not sure I really even had time to process what was happening before she came crashing through the woods atop a very large red horse.

She lay crouched against his neck, her wild silver hair flashing behind her as the horse she rode flew over the head of her ex-room guard who lay crouched in the snow still shaking from fear at my sudden attack. The horses hooves narrowly missed his face, but unfortunately clipped the tip of his ear instead sending him howling and grasping his now bleeding skin.

We were left in stunned silence as both horse and rider thundered through the snow and disappeared into the trees.

"I think we found her." Choked out the werewolf I had attacked. He was desperately trying to suck in air as he attempted to stand again. I resisted the urge to kick him back down.

Instead I said calmly, yet the deadly steel that coated my voice was unmistakable, "Bring her back."


	5. Diminishing Hope

*Vlamira*

We were pure fire and earth breathing out hurricane winds as we rode atop a wild wave of chaos. We were a whirlwind of silver and red and our feral fury carved its way through the forest like a stream cuts its way through earth. Pressed against his neck, my wild mass of silver hair becoming tangled in the wind, I urged him faster into the fray. His powerful legs, urged even faster in response to my desperate hunger for freedom, reached out and devoured the frozen ground we crossed. With our spirits raised in the wild crescendo of freedom, we were unstoppable. Or so I thought.

The wind that seemed to sweep us along in its desperate currents suddenly ceases as the red stallion I rode dug its hooves into the ground in a frantic attempt to halt its momentum. I clung anxiously to his streaming mane as his front legs briefly lifted into the air and for a moment, we were suspended in the frozen silence as his front hooves clawed furiously at the sky. When he landed he gave a loud snort and began to nervously paw at the ground ignoring my heels that remained pressed at his sides. In seconds we were surrounded.

They materialized from the woods silently, their eyes glowing vivid shades of ambers and blues. My stallion snorted and shied away from their advancing forms and I hung on to him fearfully, this large red horse, my last hope of freedom. We were trapped and the quiet sentinels around us stood still, cold and silent like statues. My eyes were still scanning for an opening when he finally emerged from the tree-line, the quiet statues parting like a sea for him to enter.

Lucian seemed calm, he wore an expressionless mask but when I looked into his eyes, I could see the fury simmering just beneath the surface. He moved with animalistic grace and I hated myself for being intimidated. When he reached for my unbridled steed, I slapped his hand away and a stiff chorus of growls emitted from the throats of the wolves around us. Lucian looked momentarily surprised before that cold fury took over again and I was being pulled off of my horses back and into Lucian's arms. He crushed me to his chest as I furiously tried to claw my way from his grasp.

"Get away from me!" I howled and even though I sunk my teeth into his flesh, his hold on me did not falter. "I am sorry my love." He whispered and suddenly he was biting _me_. I screamed and fought him harder but I already knew that all was lost now. He had marked me as his and when a werewolf claims his mate, separation meant death. For both mates. I was beyond livid and cold dark fury cut through me sharp as glass. Even though I wanted to tear his eyes out, I could not fight the darkness that clouded my vision as the mate poison ate away at my insides. I fought it for as long as I could but my consciousness slowly slipped away, the last thing I remembered was Lucian's silver eyes staring down into mine. Even with my heart filled with anger and injustice I could still see the sadness that lurked in Lucians gaze. This time, when the darkness came for me, I let it consume me.

 **~Then~**

" _Where are they taking us Anehila?" I asked, my voice small and fragile like a porcelain vase waiting for the blow that would smash it to pieces. I wanted to reach out for her, to touch her arm or hold her hand but the heavy iron shackles around my tiny wrists kept them firmly behind my back._

 _She looked down at me, the once constant scowl she always wore on her face twisted into something I'd never seen on her before. She was always so strong, so fierce in the face of authority that I never expected to see anything other than contempt and scorn in her gaze. So it was when I saw the fear and the horror written clearly on her face that I finally let go of that last piece of the life that was before. Years later and I would still always remember my life in two separate pieces. There was the time before, and then there was the time after._

 _When we reached the castle, they tore my sister and me apart. I screamed for her but all I got in return was a rough shove that sent me sprawling to the floor. Blood pooled in my mouth for my hands had not been there to brace my fall, and when I tried to regain my footing, a boot pressed me back down to the floor. When the screams rose into the air, I was terrified. All I could see was the pale green tiles my face was pressed against so when the wild crescendo of screams grew closer to me, nearly blacked out from the panic. What were they doing? Were we going to die? Where was Anehila? Would I ever see my sister again?_

 _The pain was worse because I wasn't expecting it. The hot iron burned into the side of my neck with an agonizing fire that would haunt my dreams for years to come. I screamed again and chocked on the blood of my busted lip as they branded me with the mark of their king. An 'R' for king 'Ramsey' conqueror of the great city to the elves, murderer to the fae folk. An ugly reminder to us all of who we belonged to. To me the 'R' would always just be a reminder that no matter where you are, no matter how happy life is for you, you will never be safe._

 **~Now~**

*Lucian*

The law of my kind states that finding your mate is a holy thing. It is finding the other half of your soul and your heart so when she absent from your side, it is if your heart has been torn in two, your soul somehow incomplete. When you are fully mated, separation for too long kills both of you for one cannot live with only half of a heart. While the law tells us to cherish our mates and urges us to only mark our mates when they are ready and have given us permission, there is one small exception to this decree. If a wolf is certain they have found their mate and they have accepted your first meeting, they are denied by pack law the chance to reject you again. You are allowed to forcefully mark your mate if you are in danger of losing them in any way.

I hated myself for having to use this exception but I knew I could not risk losing her again. With every day, our bond will grow stronger and I knew that eventually, she would accept me. My loving gaze traced paths on her beautiful face and I clutched her unconscious form closer to my body shielding her from the cold. Her eyelids fluttered and she frowned as if the dreams that danced behind her eyelids were not pleasant ones. Pausing for a moment, I leaned down and carefully kissed that frown line between her eyebrows wanting nothing more but to smother the bad dreams that plagued her. Tightening my hold on her, I continued my silent march through the forest back to where we both belonged. My eagerness to return my mate home made me miss the angry 'R' that marred her flesh forever marking her as something other than my mate. That angry bitter brand peered out accusingly beneath her silver hair as if screaming out the truth. As if screaming out that the harsh realities and injustices of the world had marked her long before I could.

Please comment and tell me what you think! I'm open for any constructive criticism =)


	6. Shattered Pieces of Fury

*Vlamira*

Over the next few days they brought me trays of food fancy enough to make even a king envious. Every time they placed those trays filled with rich delicacies in front of me, I'd turn my head and would stubbornly refuse to eat. Each day the food grew fancier as if the cooks were trying to impress me enough to eat, but even though my stomach growled in protest, I set my jaw choosing instead to peer out the small window (I regretfully could not squeeze through) at the far end of the room.

With every hour that ticked by, the bitterness and anger within me swelled and flowed through my veins with the consistency of black tar. Finally on the third day, the anger that consumed me pushed me to become destructive. I suddenly found myself sweeping those intricate vases off of the fire place mantel and watching them smash to pieces on the floor. I threw the dinner trays they brought me against the window and tore the tapestries off the walls so that I could tear them to pieces. I smashed plate, after plate towards the open doorway where a frightened servant hovered. She shrieked and quickly shut the door before the piece of fine china could find its mark, leaving me to my fury. A feral cry wrenched itself from my throat as I shattered the bathroom mirrors with the end of a fire poker.

Exhausted from my sudden bout of rage, I collapsed to the floor where shards of glass mercilessly cut into the palms of my hands. My shoulders shook but I bit back the sound that wanted to spill from my lips. I forced back the tears that wanted to break lose. I would not cry.

Hearing the bathroom door open I looked up to see Lucian standing in the doorway, a sad look on his face. Then suddenly, he caught site of the blood on my hands from the shattered pieces of glass and he made a move to reach for me, a concerned expression covering up his sadness.

Clenching my fist around the fallen fire poker, I swung it at him. "Don't touch me!" I spat and even though he caught my poor swing with his hand, I continued to hold on to my weapon. The poker was made of iron, but I ignored the burning sensations that traveled up my arm and stared at Lucian with all the anger I could muster.

~Vlamira, put down the fire poker~ someone whispered softly in my thoughts. Momentarily surprised, my grip on the fire poker loosened and then Lucian was stealing it from my grasp and throwing it a safe distance away from us.

"What was that?" I asked looking around. Did werewolves have the power to send thoughts?

"It was my thoughts love." Lucian stated and the warm silver of his eyes urged me to ask questions. Deciding I was too curious not to, I humored him.

"How? I'm not a werewolf so how is that possible?" My curiosity was far too overpowering to hide and I watched as a knowing look crossed Lucian's face.

He reached for me again and I leaned away just before he could touch me. "If you let me treat your wounds, I promise you I'll tell you why I can send you thoughts." Lucian urged and offered me his hand as if coaxing a wild animal from its den. I watched him apprehensively before tentatively reaching out and taking his outstretched hand. He squeezed my hand lightly before helping me stand up. I winced as the glass cut through the soles of my feet and then gasped when I was suddenly being lifted into Lucian's arms. Unconsciously, I clutched his shirt when we began moving but when I saw him smile at the gesture, I quickly released my hold and scowled up at him suddenly remembering how much I hated him.

Gently, he set me on the bed and went back to the bathroom where he returned with a medical box. I watched him quietly as he began carefully examining my hands. His touch was light and gentle as he cleaned away the blood and I watched as his brow furrowed as he took in my wounds. "Where did these burns come from?" He asked looking up at me and I shrugged. I could tell he wanted to ask me more but then thought better of it and applied the medicine.

"So how am I able to hear your thoughts?" I asked suddenly. His mouth quirked up a little and I jumped when he leaned forward and lightly kissed my palm. If it weren't such a loving kiss I probably would have reached over and tore a fistful of his hair out. The gesture however, was so tender it made all of the bitterness within me to falter. When he noticed my reaction, or lack of reaction thereof, he gave me a small smile with this annoying little knowing look in his eyes that had me ripping my hand away from him and scowling at him again.

"You can hear the thoughts I send because we are mates. Over time as the mate bond grows stronger, you will be able to do this as well and even begin to feel my emotions." A moment later a woman came in carrying a silver tray piled up with food. When she set it in front of me I suddenly remembered why I hated Lucian in the first place. It worried me that I kept forgetting.

"You marked me." I said accusingly and I nearly missed the guilt that crossed Lucian's face before it was replaced by a determined look.

"I did what I had to do." He said in a tone that left no room for argument. When I opened my mouth to throw more insults his way and state just how much I hated him, he pushed the newly brought in tray closer to me.

"Eat." He commanded and something in the way he said it made the defiance in my blood to surge. Stubbornly, I refused the cutlery he offered me and said tartly, "No thanks, I'd rather just starve." Remotely, I could hear a distant rumbling as if he was desperately trying to suppress an angry growl from ripping loose from his chest. Feeling a little smug at this accomplishment, I continued looking out the window and refusing his gaze.

"I will not leave until you have eaten everything on this plate Vlamira." He urged and when I glanced over at him, I saw the resolve written clearly on his face. "Or I promise you, I will make you eat every last bite." He continued and for the first time I recognized that the same stubbornness that was in me was also present in Lucian.

Finally, after a fierce battle of wills, I reluctantly surrendered and took a ferocious bite out of a green apple. Before that smug look could cross his face, I couldn't resist shooting his small little victory down. "I'm only eating again so that when I get my strength back, I can proceed to beat the hell out of you."

Thanks for reading! Please comment and tell me what you think!


	7. What I Deserve

*Vlamira*

~Then~

 _For several days I was to scrub clothes until my hands turned red and raw. The harsh soaps I used burned my skin and the hot water boiled my fingers until all I knew was pain. The first time I slipped away was to search for my sister. I was only gone for a few minutes before I was caught to which I received fifty lashes and denied a day's rations for my folly. I wish I could say I was strong in the face of their cruelty and never gave up my search for my sister but when your belly is empty and your head filled with nothing but the desperate need for survival, such foolish thoughts were abandoned. A few weeks later and I would have given up my own eyes for a piece of bread._

 _The first time I saw Arlette I was dumping out the contents of a chamber pot. She bounded into the room a flurry of gold, blues, and silk, a dazzling contrast to the drab cloth and dirtied skeleton that was me. When she saw me there, frozen in place while holding that pot of putrid filth, she grinned and her blue eyes sparkled with delight. The man behind her was as rigid as a stone giving me the impression of a statue carved of frozen marble. When she turned to face him, her face alight with childish excitement, her golden hair flashed behind her like spun gold._

" _I like this one Sir Rodrick! I demand you give her to me!" The statue she threw words at gradually came to life as his face took on an exasperated look._

" _Your highness, what about you're other playmate?" He asked and Vlamira's hands froze around the chamber pot she clutched._

" _I grow bored of her. Besides, she has_ brown _hair, this one has silver hair. I've never seen one with silver hair before. I want this one!" The small princess huffed and Vlamira thought she saw something akin to annoyance in Sir Rodrick's face before it quickly disappeared._

" _As you wish your highness." He forced out, his words hitting the air like the sound of rough gravel._

 _Unsure of what to do, I gently set the chamber pot down and fiddled with the torn edges of the ragged cloth I wore. When the princess gleefully dashed across the room, I took a step back in surprise. My uncertainty did not deter her however and she grabbed my hand clasping it between her two eager ones. The next words she spoke settled around me like a blanket covering the object I had become._

" _I shall name you Leslie! I just know we're going to be great friends."_

Now~

I woke up sweating and heaving. I feared the dreams of the past would never cease tormenting me. I feared that I would never forget the intensity of the blue in Arlette's eyes. The same blue that my own left eye was. Sometimes, when I looked in the mirror and saw it, I saw her face instead of my own leering out at me.

It took me a few seconds to wrench myself free from the cold fingers of my past, but when I finally came too, it was Lucian's concerned gaze that I saw first. Sitting up I quickly glanced around the room taking in my surroundings. With that annoying concerned look on Lucian's face I felt like I was a child waking up from a nightmare in her parent's bed.

"Are you alright love?" He asked and annoyingly his words eased my restless spirit with the soft way they seemed to flow from his lips. Deciding I simply wasn't in the mood to answer him or even talk to him for now that I had some more sleep I had suddenly restored my supply of bitterness, I swept the covers away angrily and retreated to the bathroom.

While the glass had been swept away and removed from the room, a few shattered shards still clung desperately to mirror frame above the sink and my image peered out at me in broken fragments.

I tried to look away but that blue eye sucked me in and I was staring at a broken image of Arlette again glaring out at me with those accusing storm blue eyes.

" _Look at what you did to me."_ She whispered and suddenly I was breaking the rest of that mirror. Glass shards cut into my fisted hands as they clattered to the sink but the pain of the glass was much easier to bear then the pain of her memory.

"Vlamira!" A voice thundered for I had forgotten Lucian in my fit of momentary insanity. He rushed to my side taking in the scene with wide confused eyes. I halfheartedly tried to pull away from him but he only tightened his hold on my arms as he drew me to him.

I watched as he very carefully cleaned my wounds again and nearly felt guilty for making him worry so much before I remembered how he had forcefully marked me. Suddenly, I wanted to make him regret ever having accepted me as his mate. Ripping my hands away from him, I spat words out like venom to him. "I can do it myself."

The bright silver of his eyes seemed to darken into two murky grey pools as he leaned in closer to me. "Forgive me if I do not fully trust you when it comes to your health."

"I'm sorry but forgiveness is something I'm not quite familiar with." I said and this time I did not look away from his heavy gaze. He was a stranger to me yet somehow, even though he wore an expression of stone I just knew that he was boiling with fury. He held it in well, like a damn that blocks the flow of water, but when his gaze met mine, I knew that behind the stone of his eyes lurked a lake of anger.

Deciding it would be wise not to provoke him further I reached for the bandages he still clutched in his hands and made a point of fixing up my wounds.

"Who is Arlette?" He asked and I stopped bandaging my hand at the sudden shock of hearing her name spoken aloud again in so long. Hoping he didn't catch my momentary pause I continued to clean my cuts before asking harshly, "Did you read my thoughts by any chance?" I wanted him to know that he was unwelcome there and that any invasion of my privacy was not okay.

"No." He stated undeterred by my cold clipped tone. "You kept saying that name in your sleep. I was wondering if I should be jealous." When I glanced up at him, his eyebrow was quirked as if throwing humor my way would make me open up to him more.

"Maybe." I said vaguely. As I cleared away the medical supplies I tried to make it clear that our conversation about Arlette was over. Lucian I was learning, was not one to listen to hints though.

"What happened to her?" he asked and a certain quietness settled around the room. I couldn't meet his eyes when I told him.

"She died." Though my eyes were averted, I could feel Lucian's silver eyes boring into my stiff form almost as if they were trying to peel away my armor and see who I really was inside. It unnerved me because there were times when I was convinced that Lucian really _could_ see past my façade.

"Do you miss her?" He finally asked. Suddenly, all I could think about was how I needed fresh air. I bit back a wince when my shredded feet touched the ground and quickly made my way to the door. Lucian was quicker though. He was blocking my exit before I could even reach for the door handle.

"Move." I gritted out.

"You're on house arrest remember?" he said and although his voice was quiet, the fierce quality of the command was heard clearly.

"I need some air." I said trying again to move past him. Trying to get past him though was like trying to break through concrete. I bit back a cry of frustration when he refused to step aside.

"why are you doing this to me!" I finally screamed. I know it was childish of me but suddenly all of the frustration and anger I'd been feeling these past few days came to the surface and burst loose in an embarrassing immature temper tantrum. I found myself screaming till my voice was hoarse while throwing a barrage of punches at Lucian's chest. He simply stood there stoically as I unleased my wrath upon him. When I couldn't hit him anymore and my chest was heaving from the exertion I simply sunk to the floor and bit my lip till I tasted blood. I would rather him see me bleed then ever see me cry.

"Are you done love?" I heard him ask and I wanted to rip his voice box out for even asking. I heard a quiet sigh before Lucian was crouching down beside me and I was forced to meet his inquiring eyes.

"If I take you outside with me, will you behave?" He asked.

"I'm not a dog." I snapped. He sighed again and turned to leave but when I saw my chance at going outside quickly slipping away I swallowed my pride and threw out what I knew he wanted to hear.

"I won't run I promise!" He hesitated for a moment and because I thought I was losing my chance I forced out one word that always tasted bitter on my tongue. "please." I was hoping for it to come out sounding hostile but it broke off a little at the end making it sound pleading and desperate instead.

As much as I regretted ever saying that last word, it's what ultimately convinced Lucian to give me what I wanted.

Lucian opened the door all the way and waited quietly for me to pick myself off the floor. As he held the door for me, I carefully crept past him afraid that he'd change his mind.

I jumped when a warm hand rested on the small of my back and guided me down the right corridor. I wanted to slap it away but Lucian's arm wrapped more securely around my waist preventing me from moving away. I wasn't sure if it was because I was his mate or if this was just his way of ensuring I didn't run away. I think it was a bit of both. Either way there wasn't a chance I was escaping today.

As we drew closer to the outside world, my excitement grew. I couldn't wait to feel the wind against my face and the cold snow against my bare feet. Finally, the doors to my prison opened and the sun greeted me like an old friend. I wanted to reach up and hold it in my hands. My kind was born of nature so being away from it for even three days was damaging to our spirits.

I let a long satisfied sigh escape from my lips as my feet touched the earth and I could feel my strength returning. I completely forgot about Lucian at my side and laid down in the snow allowing its cool clean scent to engulf me.

I heard a sharp intake of air and peeked up at the sky to see Lucian's concerned gaze looking down at me. Without asking, he reached down and scooped me up in his arms.

"what are you doing love? You'll get sick." He scolded but there was a certain gentleness in his tone that soothed me.

I believe it was this gentleness that made me momentarily put away my bitter façade.

"I was listening to the earth breathe." I said. "Sometimes, if you listen closely enough, you can hear her sigh."

If Lucian were human, he'd probably think that I was a nut. I could see in his eyes though that he knew what I meant. We were both born of the earth.

I'm not sure what got into me but suddenly, I was tired of pushing Lucian away. Maybe it was all these memories of Arlette that kept bombarding me or maybe it was the mate bond. Whatever it was, I was done fighting it, just for today.

"can we go to that river?" I asked and suddenly felt stupid. How many rivers were around here anyway? When Lucian looked down at me though I knew that he understood. Lucian always seemed to _just_ understand. It was both infuriating and endearing at the same time. I had only known him for a few days but I was starting to believe that no one has ever known me like Lucian. Was this what a mate was?

Gently, Lucian set me down and began transforming into a very large wolf. It was the first time I'd seen his wolf and I was taken aback by just how large he was. His sleek black fur covered powerful lean muscles and his vibrant silver eyes were more chilling then the snow that crunched under our feet. I wanted to pretend to be unfazed, but I couldn't quite mask my wonder as I reached out and hesitantly combed my fingers through his midnight fur. It was coarser then I expected it to be but when I caught his eyes, they held in them the same love I'd seen in them from the first time I met him. Though I tried to hide it, I'd always been fascinated by werewolves. Not so much in the way they could transform into a beast or move a car with their bare hands, but in the way they could love. So unconditionally. Why was that?

I took a step back when Lucian lowered himself to the ground unsure of what he was doing. His silver eyes cut through the wintery frost and urged me closer.

~It is quicker this way love~

Uncertainly, I stepped closer to the still wolf and climbed on top of his broad back holding his coarse black hair in my fisted hands. When he lifted himself off the ground and began running I threw myself on his back wrapping my arms around him as much as I could. With my face pressed so closely against Lucian's back, I wasn't able to see my surroundings well and only knew we had arrived when Lucian slowed to a stop. My legs were shaky when I crawled off his back and I'm pretty sure I pulled a few handfuls of his hair out. I wondered if he would have bald spots when he changed back. I was a relieved and a little bit disappointed when Lucian transformed with all of his hair.

Looking around, I suddenly remembered the first time I came here and how Lucian had given me a heart shaped river stone. I also remembered how I'd thrown it back into the river and snarled hateful words at him. Even though I refused to feel guilty I looked down at all the river stones that painted the ground and reached down to pick up a smooth round black one. I avoided his eyes when I offered it to him.

"It's the color of your wolf." I clarified and when I felt him pull the stone from my fingers I quickly turned away from him. I don't know how but I just knew he was smiling at me. If I turned around I'd see him and the corner of his mouth would tilt up just a little higher than the other. Hoping I was wrong I glanced over but then quickly turned away when I saw his lips quirk into that small smile that made my heart flutter. Scowling at my traitorous feelings I took a step closer to the water hoping I'd see some fish or anything really to take my mind off of Lucian.

"why are you so hard to read my little warrior?" Lucian asked and the question startled me into looking at him.

"I'm pretty simple actually. If you're not me then I hate you and if you are me then I still hate you." I said and I jumped when I heard a chuckle reverberate through Lucian's chest. Who knew this large intimidating man could laugh. I was too stunned by the sound that escaped his lips to step away when he reached for me pulling me closer to him. He easily enfolded me in his arms and although my mind told me it would be best to move away, I couldn't bring myself to do it. It felt…..nice being embraced like this. I felt almost….safe.

"are you saying that you hate yourself my love?" He whispered into my hair and I shivered as his breath caressed my skin. I wanted to come back with some smart ass comment but his hand tracing patterns on my back made them all get lodged in my throat. What was this man doing to me?

"Everyone hates themselves a little." I finally forced out and even though something in me didn't want to, I made myself pull away from Lucian who reluctantly let me go. I was about to step around him when a sound carried by the wind caught my attention. I quickly turned to where it came from looking for the source and noticed Lucian stiffen next to me.

Across the river bank I spotted him. He was too far away to make out any details of his face but there was something about him that seemed….so familiar. Maybe it was the way he stood or just the way he quietly watched us. I didn't have time to ponder this stranger across the river however for Lucian was suddenly very still.

"Get behind me." He ordered and something in his tone made me bristle. I didn't take orders from anybody. When I didn't immediately comply a furious snarl ripped loose from his lips that sent shivers up my spine. I was no coward but I was no fool either. Lucian was rapidly losing control and anyone with a lick of sense knew better then to provoke a tense alpha male. He stepped in front of me protectively and shielded me from the stranger's view. I was about to move around him to get a better look at the man across the river when Lucian turned to me.

"Head back to the castle now." His words fell heavy in the silence raking across the tense atmosphere with the texture of gravel as if words were becoming difficult for him to form. When my defiance at being ordered around flared back up again he took a step towards me and my instinct took over causing me to take a step back. Furious at myself for showing weakness I planted my feet more firmly in the earth and held his heated stare.

"Vlamira." He warned and the waves of power that rolled off him reached out to me wrapping me in their folds. It was almost suffocating. Uncertain I unconsciously took another step back. Something was telling me not to push Lucian further.

Before I turned to leave, I darted a quick glance over Lucian's shoulder only to find the strange man gone. I was about to say as much when a few of Lucian's soldiers materialized from the woods and began moving towards the other side of the bank. If it weren't for Lucian's over-protective reaction, and the line of tense werewolves, I would have thought I had imagined the whole thing.

Deciding I was going to get nowhere with Lucian, I turned to leave making a show of following his orders. As soon as he turned away I'd go investigate on my own. Lucian must have known what I was thinking though because as soon as I averted my eyes Lucian growled and scooped me up into his arms. I thrashed in protest and frustration when he began jogging towards the castle.

"Wait!" I said not sure why I felt so much urgency. "who was that?" Lucian didn't pause or answer my question, if anything, his pace quickened. I only hoped this whole encounter wouldn't affect my outdoor privileges.

When we reached the castle, Lucian gently set me down. "Take her to her rooms and don't let her out of your sight." Lucian instructed a couple of werewolves standing guard.

"Is it rogues?" one of them ask and Lucian just shook his head.

"No, he's not. But he's not from another pack either." For some reason Lucian looked down at me and for a moment, I thought I saw something in his eyes that seemed almost accusatory. Before I could bombard him with more questions though or ask him what the hell he thought he was looking at, he roughly pulled me towards him and kissed my forehead almost possessively before transforming again and darting back into the forest.

The wolves by my side gently grasped my arms attempting to lead me back to my room. The touch was meant to feel warm and comforting but to me, all it felt like was restraints. Ripping my arms away I began walking towards the front door without their assistance. I heard their quiet sighs behind me as they followed close at my heels.

"My apologies my lady but if I may ask you something?" one of the guards escorting me tentatively asked as she hurried to match my angry strides.

I cut my eyes in her direction urging her to continue.

"As far as werewolves are concerned, you are extremely lucky. You found your mate, you are at the top of the werewolf hierarchy and you live in a castle." She breathed and her genuine curiosity filled the small space between us.

"What's your point?" I asked already annoyed by where this was heading.

"So why do you seem to hate this situation so much? Why can't you just accept Lucian and your rightful place as Luna?"

When I suddenly stopped, she pulled back in surprise. I stared at her and allowed her full view of my mismatched eyes wanting to burn her with their intensity.

"By werewolf standards huh? Am I werewolf?" I asked and I watched her fidget nervously as she mulled over my question.

"No mylady….I don't think you are." She finally whispered. I imagined my stare as heavy boulders pressing into her back. If stared at her a bit longer I was certain I'd be able to hear her small body being crushed.

"No I'm not. So why would I ever want the same things a werewolf would want?" Before she could answer or ask another annoying question I darted into my room throwing the door shut behind me.

I waited by the door for her to leave and I listened quietly to her shaky breathing before I finally heard her receding footsteps. I was slowly losing hope that I'd ever leave Forticry pack now that the reality of Lucian having marked me was slowly sinking in. Getting along with the pack members would probably be a wise move but I didn't want them to like me. I wanted them to hate me. To curse my name every time I turned my back. I wanted them to hate me because sometimes hate was all I thought I deserved.


	8. Something to Forget

~Then~

 _In the beginning, she was kind. She fed me sweets and shared the gifts her father gave her. She dressed me in beautiful doll clothes and adorned my emancipated body with jewels and pearls as she pretended we were guests at a ball. She laughed a carefree laugh with me and told me all of her secrets. Arlette was like a poison coated candy. The only thing was you had to eat the whole candy before you realized that it was poison._

 _My life became easier the day Arlette saved me from the laundry pit. I was fed regularly so that my stomach didn't hurt at night and bathed frequently so I no longer scratched my head until my scalp bled. While things were easier things were also harder. I knew my duties. I was her playmate, her friend, and her doll. I played the part but at night I'd lay awake fearing the day she grew tired of me. I had replaced someone and I knew that she would do the same to me when someone more interesting came along._

 _Becoming Arlettes doll had its perks. I was allowed more freedom and there wasn't much that was expected of me. When I roamed the halls with Arlette or took long walks in the gardens my eyes never stopped searching for Aneihla. As the days ticked by so did my hope of ever finding my sister. It would be two long years before I saw her again._

 _When I first came across her in the halls I nearly didn't recognize her. It had only been two years yet I somehow had already begun to forget what she looked like. She had her eyes cast downward when we passed her, a stack of sheets pressed tightly to her chest as she scuttled by. With a surge of hope in my breast I called out to her, "Aneihla?" and she paused. I wanted to run to her, to bury my face in her clothes and breathe in her scent but Arlette stood beside me, her small hand squeezing the blood out of my arm._

 _Aneihla turned then and bowed to Arlette her face devoid of emotion. Her once bright eyes were now sunken in and dull as if the despair and hopelessness she felt had created a film over her irises. Where was the haughty and angry sister I had grown up with? Who was this sad broken stranger in front of me?_

" _Do you need anything my lady?" She asked and her voice came out in dull flat tones. I desperately searched her face for any sign of the Aneihla I once knew but she must have been hiding somewhere inside the pale sickly girl in front of me._

" _No. Be on your way." Arlette demanded and when Aneihla bowed once more and scurried away without sparing me a backwards glance, a piece of me broke off and died with my sister's spirit. Even when Arlette dug her fingers into my skin and pulled on my arm impatiently I continued to watch as the only family I had left disappeared around the corner._

~Now~

When I woke up it was unbearably hot. The pillow I slept on was damp under my cheek and I was mortified to find that my cheeks were wet with tears. I wiped them away in frustration, furious at myself for allowing weakness even if it snuck up on me in my sleep.

When I began to pull myself up and get some fresh air, something around my waist tightened and pulled me back down. I gasped as I was roughly drug closer to which I was crushed against someone's chest. Annoyance flared to life within my breast as Lucian buried his nose in the crook of my neck and breathed in my scent. I tried to fight it but a shiver raked my body and I hated the fact that he had this power over me.

His chest rumbled making me jump a little before I realized he was purring his approval of me. I'd heard a couple of werewolves make this noise before with their mates and I never really understood why they did it. I was about to ask him when felt his body stiffen next to me. It was stiflingly only a moment ago but I was suddenly cold as if Lucian's mood was leeching the warmth right out of the air.

"What is this?" He asked and the fury that laced his voice could cut through steel. I was afraid it would even cut through the armor I wore around myself that protected me from the truth.

I pushed myself away from his hold knowing he must have spotted the angry 'R' that marred my neck when he nuzzled aside my hair. I quickly stood up and Lucian followed suit, the ice of his wrath making him seem larger and much scarier. For the first time I actually felt scared of him.

"What is what?" I asked even though I knew it was a stupid move. The silver of his eyes darkened a shade more when he said "Do not play games with me Vlamira. That's a very dangerous move."

I was planted where I stood afraid to step forward but also afraid to take a step back. I didn't want to tell him. I wanted it to stay locked away, hidden from both me and the world so that I wouldn't have to face it.

"What game?" I tried again and I swallowed when the low sound of his warning chilled the air.

"Vlamira." He warned. Why couldn't he let it go? Why couldn't he understand that I couldn't tell him. I'd have to face it and if I faced it I would break.

The way he was looking at me with those eyes simmering like puddles of molten lava made me realize that he would never drop this. So I lied. I told him what I thought he wanted to hear. Later I wouldn't feel guilty either because even if someone said they wanted to know, no one really wanted to know the truth. Even me. It wasn't just Lucian who I lied to that day. I lied to myself too because sometimes, it was just easier to believe in the lie.

"Oh this?" I said as if it just dawned on me and I ran my finger across the raised flesh of my neck trying not to shudder when the memory of the pain resurfaced. "I got this when I was five. It was an accident but I don't remember much about what happened." I tried not to gag when I remembered how the pale green tiles felt against my cheek and the smell of my flesh as it melted away.

Lucian continued to stare at me and I remembered too late that he could see inside of my head. Hoping he didn't catch the small flash of memory I forced my mind blank, something I had become skilled at during my time of slavery. After all, when everything around you is filled with suffering and death, it was easier not to think.

He was quiet while he studied me, almost too quiet. I don't think he believed me but he didn't push me anymore. I think he realized that if he had, something in me would have broken. I stood still as he reached for me and enfolded me in his arms. I didn't fight him. I'd forced my mind blank. I was a doll again like all those years ago when I was with Arlette.

His hands rubbed my back in comforting circles and even through the layer of ice I'd coated around my mind I was able to feel his concern as he tried his best to understand me. Something began to tap at the glass I'd formed in my mind asking permission to enter but I denied it access and made the glass thicker.

Lucian leaned down and gently kissed the piece of me that would never heal. I shuddered as his lips caressed the scar on my neck and let him do it wishing his unexpected kiss would take away my memories with it.

Lucian sighed when he pulled away and finally just whispered what he wanted to tell me. "My love, the more you hold it in the more it will hurt you."

Maybe, I thought. But some things would just hurt you no matter what you did with it. Whether I held it in or let it out it didn't matter. It would all hurt just the same.

"So did you ever find that man across the lake?" I asked nonchalantly as I dug ferociously into a steak. The couple of werewolves that were with us watched me in morbid fascination as I devoured my second steak.

Lucian had agreed to let me out of my room as long as I stayed by his side the whole time. Deciding it was better than being stuffed in the tiny can that was my room I went along with it. Besides, I was curious about the man I'd glimpsed.

"Why are you curious?" Lucian asked and his silver eyes bore into me beseechingly. Something in his tone sounded guarded which only piqued my interest.

"I was just wondering. He seemed kind of….familiar." I said and I trailed off a little as tried to picture his face. Lucian's angry snarl brought me back. I knew Lucian was possessive and a little ill-tempered but he was normally good at reigning in his rage so it came as a surprise when he allowed some of his anger to slip past his guard.

"Well even if he's someone you know he isn't to come near you." He forced out and I watched as the fork he gripped bent in his clenched fist.

Scowling at both his tone and the fact that my question was still unanswered I vented my frustration out on my steak instead. I'd find out from someone else. Someone who wasn't so infuriating.

"Vlamira." I heard and I momentarily paused slaughtering the steak on my plate. When I looked up Lucian was standing by the door way watching me with adoration in his eyes. I hated that look partly because I just hated it but also because it made my heart flutter in my chest and my knees turn to jelly. The light cast shadows on his chiseled face as he stared expectantly at me and I grew frustrated at myself for allowing myself to admire how handsome he was if even for a moment.

"Are you coming or do you want to go back up to our room and rest a bit more?" He asked and I bristled when he called it 'our' room. I wanted to snap at him but then thought better of it and pushed my plate aside. His silver eyes twinkled when I made my way to his side and he grabbed my small hand in his giant bear-paw like one. When I tried to pull it away, he intertwined our fingers and used his strength to pull me closer.

I glowered up at him as he hid a small smirk. He thought he was so clever. I knew the whole intertwined finger thing was to prevent me from running away just as much as it was to soothe his desire to touch me.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked my curiosity getting the better of me as we veered off the main road and into some of the smaller branching ones that led into the surrounding town.

"I'm going to show you off to the whole pack." He said huskily. "I want everyone to see you and realize who you belong to."

A picture of Arlette dressing me in a thousand colored dresses popped into my head and I tried again to pull my hand away unsuccessfully.

"I'm not an object." I snapped and I watched as Lucian turned his soft grey eyes towards me and I had to look away so that I wouldn't be sucked into that loving gaze.

"I never said you were my love."

I opened my mouth to give my retort but then I closed it again and just decided not to say anything.

As we traveled the streets, Lucian gripping my hand tightly the whole way. People paused and turned to watch us with curious expressions. The kids stopped playing games and the elders stopped their newspaper readings and chess games to look over horn rimmed glasses as we passed. One woman attempted to wave at us but I scowled at her and she quickly retracted her hand as if I'd burned her.

"Be nice." Lucian said but I could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Well they should stop staring." I said and then eyeballed an honorary looking old woman who openly gawked at me with a shrewd gaze. I mirrored her sour expression until she finally averted her eyes.

"It's because you are beautiful." He said brushing his lips against my fingers that remained intertwined with his. "Sometimes unnaturally so."

"No. It's because I'm odd. They can't tell what I am and that scares them." I said.

"They know exactly what you are." He stated fiercely as he pulled me to a stop. I looked up at him startled. "You are my mate and their Luna. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and the only woman that can make my heart beat faster or stop altogether. They don't stare at you because you are odd, they stare at you because they know that you are mine."

And then he was kissing me.

It was as if every feeling I've ever felt was exploding inside of me. His lips were warm and hungry as they crushed against mine and my body responded to his touch as if it had done so a million times before. Lucian let go of my hand so that he could grab my hips and pull me closer and I was surprised to find myself burying my fingers into his midnight black hair so that I could pull him closer deepening the kiss. Desire blossomed in my stomach like a small flame and it was as if that small fire breathed life into the mate bond that bridged us together. I could feel the pull towards him growing stronger and for just a moment, I let myself enjoy it.

Finally, I broke away for air and tried to regain some of my composure as his smoldering gray eyes looked into mine. I momentarily found myself thinking they looked like piles of ash. The end product of an intensely hot fire that swallowed both of us in its hungry flame.

Snapping back to reality I quickly pulled away as if Lucian had burned me. Shoving my hands in my pocket I hastily turned and battled the blood that threatened to flood my cheeks. To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement. I was mortified. Not only at having made out in public but also because I had allowed myself get swept away in the intensity that was Lucian.

I could almost feel the smug satisfactory look Lucian was giving me as I fidgeted under the gawking by standers stares.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "You're still standing here? What is this, your local porn channel? Scram!" I hissed and I watched as their amused expressions turned guilty and they resumed their tasks.

Lucian's laugh echoed against the walls as he gently grabbed my hand and led me away from the abashed werewolves.

"I thought Luna's were supposed to prevent their Alpha from terrorizing the pack. I didn't know it was the other way around my little warrior." Lucian said and I tried to ignore the affection that laced his voice.

I huffed in response and refused to meet his gaze. I hated to admit it but I was still a little mortified at the whole kissing scene and found it hard to look him in the eyes. I was beginning to realize just how strong and scary this whole mate pull thing was. What had I gotten myself into?

When we made it back to the castle I went up to my room wanting nothing more but to take a nice long bath. Lucian had caught me off guard today but I promised myself I'd win the battle next time. Probably feeling my combative spirit and realizing my need to nurse my wounded pride at having surrendered to the mate pull Lucian let me go to my room alone. I could feel his heated stare on my back though as I climbed the stairs.

The bathroom was clean again, someone had finally fixed the mirror I had destroyed in my rampage and swept away the broken glass that littered the floor. Standing in front of the newly fixed mirror I pushed aside my long silver blond hair exposing the angry raised flesh of the 'R' that marred my neck. I thought back to how Lucian had tenderly kissed the ugly scar and wondered how he could still find me beautiful. He saw it as a piece of me, as part of my past and part of who I am, but I saw it for what it really stood for. An angry 'R' to remind me. Always winking up at me as if to say 'remember what happened. ' I allowed my hair to fall back in place obscuring the scar from my sight. I didn't need it to remind me. After all, how could I ever forget?


	9. A Game of Questions

*Vlamira*

~Then~

 _It was raining the day my mother told my sister and me about the Silas. I remember how we huddled around her hanging on to her every word as the rain beat against the window panes._

" _Oh my beautiful girls." She'd coo and she'd run her fingers through my hair. "Always remember that you are of magic. Born of the earth and sky we are the earth's children." She whispered and a sense of pride would swell in my chest._

 _Every night it was the same. She'd tell us of the magic that flowed through our veins and how we had a great responsibility to heal and nourish the earth and respect all of its creatures. We were all gifted with the ability to heal one another as well as restore the earth's children with a single touch. We were her guardians and her protectors as we had been for thousands of years._

" _The Silas," She said "is a gift from the sky." I recall being mesmerized by the new development in her story and when I leaned closer her blue and violet eyes twinkled in the fire light._

" _Every fairy is given gifts from the earth." She mused and then she'd pause dramatically until I was bouncing with anticipation. "But, on a fairy's thirteenth birthday the sky chooses a select few to bestow its gifts. Those fae are said to be gifted with the Silas." Her eyes drifted away from our expectant faces and instead began to peer out our rain spattered window, a far off look clouding her features._

" _Well!" I edged and tugged at her long sleeves trying to pull her away from her thoughts and back into her story._

" _The Silas are beautiful gifts." She whispered and began to mindlessly trace the intricate swirls tattooed on her wrist. I'd never questioned why she had it, it was just a part of her._

" _Some graced with the Silas can bend the stubborn flames of a fire to their will, others can hear the voices of the wind and know all of the secrets they tell." She continued and a small smile formed on her lips when she added, "some fae can speak the language of the rivers."_

 _At this an excited smile stretched across my small face. "Does mommy have the Silas then?" She smiled at me then, a pleased look crossing her face. "Yes." She said and raised her tattooed wrist. "This is the mark I was given by the council that tells others of the gift I have been given." I stared at her beautiful swirled markings in new found awe._

" _Cool! I want to be able to read minds!" Aneihla gushed and our mother let loose a delighted chuckle._

" _I do not think that is a Silas little lamb." And Aneihla's expression fell._

" _What about weather!" I chirped. "I want to be able to make it stop raining whenever I want." My mother's soft chuckles slowly faded away an unreadable look crossing her features._

" _There is such a Silas." She ventured. "It is rare though and whoever has it has the heart of the sky." My excitement only grew as she told us more about the Silas._

" _Who has the heart of the sky now momma?" I asked and that troubled look crossed her face once more._

" _No one does little lamb. No one has for the last 500 years." Suddenly a little disappointed I asked, "Well why not?" She laughed at my pouting expression and her eyes softened as she looked down at me._

" _It is a good thing love. The heart of the sky only appears when the sacred balance between the earth and its children is disrupted." Her long graceful fingers tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear as I tried to digest what she was telling me._

" _Whats that mean?" I finally asked. If nature always had a way of fixing itself then how could the balance ever be disrupted?_

" _It means Vlamira," She whispered softly, "That if the heart of the sky were to show up now, everything would change."_

~Now~

I was torn out of my thoughts by a sudden flash of lightening and the accompanying sound of thunder as it shook the sky. All of the rain made me remember that day so long ago when I had huddled next to a warm fire and listened to my mother's stories.

I rested my forehead against the cool glass of the window and wished myself back to those times. Back when I wasn't a creature of hate, guilt, and regret.

"What are you thinking about love?" I heard a deep voice ask and strong arms wrapped protectively around my waist pulling me closer. His presence and sudden display of affection caught me off guard.

"My mother." I let slip and I clamped my mouth shut to prevent any other pieces of my past from slipping through my traitorous lips.

Lucian smiled against my neck pleased that I had finally shared something with him. I pretended that the flutter in my belly was one of annoyance and not attraction.

"What is she like?" He asked and because this man knew exactly how to make me lower my guard he lightly kissed the place where his mark was making my knees turn to jelly. I hated how much power he had over me.

"She was beautiful." I finally answered and the soft gentle sound of my voice startled me. I didn't even know I could make my voice that gentle.

A heavy silence fell over the room as Lucian found meaning in my words. "I lost my mother too." He finally said. It was the first time I'd heard anything about Lucian and I'd be lying if I wasn't curious. Stepping out of his arms I turned to look at him my curiosity etched on my face.

"Curious about me love?" He asked and I scowled in response earning a small chuckle from Lucian.

"She died when I was 8." He finally said and a sadness clouded those storm grey eyes. Without even thinking about it I was reaching out to him, my small hand cupping his face. Surprise momentarily flitted across his face before a gentle smile formed on his lips and he leaned into my touch.

I was curious as to how it happened but since I wasn't willing to share what happened to my own mother, I felt it was only fair I didn't ask what happened to his.

Looking over Lucian's shoulder I caught sight of a board next to the fire. Rows of beautiful intricately carved figures stood erect on its surface gleaming magnificently by the fire. I was captivated. Pulling my hand away from Lucian, I ventured closer to the board and ran my fingers along the smooth ebony of the head of a horse.

Noticing my interest Lucian took a seat on the opposite side of the game, his very large frame dwarfing the board and the pieces that adorned it.

"Care for a game?" He asked and with the fire casting shadows on his features, he resembled that of a devil preparing to make a deal for my soul. His sharp teeth gleamed in the firelight as I slowly lowered myself in my chair looking curiously at the carved pieces before me.

"I don't know how to play." I finally admitted.

"It's a game of the wits." Lucian explained and my interest began to grow as he plucked the piece bearing a cross off the board.

"The whole idea is to capture the king." He continued and he showed me the piece he held. "Every other piece is just a means to do it."

"What would I want with a king?" I asked and Lucian's mouth tilted up at the edges.

"Well, to render him powerless I suppose." He said and my own lips twitched in the beginnings of a smile.

"I think I might like this game."

*Lucian*

"How about a bet?" I asked and I watched her chew her lip as she considered my offer. I watched in adoration as her beautiful face took on a serious frown.

"What kind of bet?" she finally ventured and I knew I had her. My little beauty was too competitive to ever pass down a challenge.

"If you win I'll grant you 3 wishes." I said and I watched as her vibrant eyes lit up with excitement. "If I win though," I continued and the excitement began to ebb way into weariness, "then you'll have to answer any 3 questions that I have and answer them honestly."

I waited patiently while she raged war with herself and I sat back enjoying the storm of expressions that clouded her face as she considered the pros and cons of my offer.

Next to the glow of the fire, her silver blonde hair fell over her shoulder in soft waves making me want to run my fingers through it. That same fire that made her hair shine like spun silver had the same unearthly ability to make her expressions seem softer, more vulnerable than in the harsh light of the sun.

"Deal." She finally said and my smile only widened. Soon, I'd know everything there was to know about my beautiful little warrior.

*Vlamira*

Half way into the game and I was already regretting my decision. Lucian was merciless and I cringed when his smooth voice filled the air confirming my fears. "Checkmate."

I sighed and sat back in defeat waiting expectantly for his question. I expected him to go easy on me just because I was used to the gentle way he handled me, as if I was a fragile piece of porcelain that needed to be moved delicately. The bold directness of his question though caught me off guard.

"Who was Arlette?" I tensed at her name and then stared out angrily across the table at a very serious Lucian.

My mind raced to find a way around the question but then I grew tired of it and finally just answered him. "She was a princess." I whispered and my words fell heavy in the silence. "and I was her playmate."

Lucian regarded me in quiet curiosity, a torn look crossing his features. He wanted to ask so much more than the remaining two questions allowed.

"How did she die?" He finally asked and I hated him a little for asking.

 _*blood was everywhere. It was on the walls, on my clothes, and on the floor. Arlette's hair that once shone like spun gold now fanned out around her soiled and matted in a sea of blood. Her breaths came in short painful gasps as she desperately tried to suck in air and I took a step back as the blood that pulled around her edged closer to my bare feet._

 _I vaguely remember something slipping from my hands and falling to the floor. Mostly though, I just remember what true silence sounded like when she stopped wheezing. *_

"She got what she deserved." I finally said and my voice sounded far away as I desperately tried to push back the memories that threatened to flood my mind. When I finally succeeded, Lucian was still looking at me, telling me with the quiet steel of his eyes that my answer had not satisfied the question.

"I killed her." I forced out and although I wanted it to come out annoyed and strong, a weak mummer was all that came through.

"why?" he whispered and when I met his eyes I was surprised to see a deep sorrow there as if my self-hate was paining him somehow.

"Because if anyone deserved to die," I said softly, "It was Arlette."

Lucian must have felt some remorse for his ruthless barrage of questions because before he was called to attend some pack duty, he had a large apple pastry sent to my room and a slip of paper that read, "forgive me my love, in repentance for my cruel behavior, I'll grant you three wishes. With love – Lucian."

Against my will, my lips tugged upward and I folded up the slip of paper tucking it in my pocket just in case he denied having ever sent it. I was going to have fun with those wishes. I wasn't going to go easy either.

The rain had finally stopped and I watched as the sun broke through the clouds so that it could finally start warming the Earth's crust. I thought of Lucian making his rounds on the outside. He wouldn't be back for at least another three hours.

Angry at the small voice in the back of my head that told me I missed him, I looked again at the few clouds that still dotted the sky. Glaring fiercely at the sun as it peeked through I waved it away and turned my back to the group of clouds I knew were now clustering together and clouding the sun.

Thunder and lightening split open the skies and rain came pouring out dousing everything in its path. As I stepped away from the window and the wrath I'd created in the skies, I pettily hoped that werewolves hated the rain.


End file.
